User blog:MeesturTheoFroggy/the rise and fall of quaza keido, or: how i learned to stop worrying and deny his existence
alright. so i know a lot of you know who quaza keido 'is, and the constant joke being quaza's questionable state of existence. though what really pisses me off is people spouting "QUAZA DOESN'T EXIST LOL" or "QUAZA EXISTS LOL" without taking some time and thinking of the context behind those two statements--why exactly he may or may not exist. i'm also sick of getting little kids coming up to me like "HEY DEADDANG QUAZA EXISTS LMAO XD" trying to leech a reaction out of me like i'm some sort of fucking novelty, like i'm going to give some sort of pavlovian response right then and there like "no he doesn't". since the empire arc is as dead as marcel's will to live by the stairwell finale, and therefore the dual dev commentary with hiyori shinigami during her empire arc playthrough is now a complete impossibility, i think it's about high time i explain to everyone the origin story behind everyone's favorite (angry) pink wizard. it all started on the night of april 20th (DUDE WEED LMAO) 2016. this was around the time when all of the well-known secret characters got arbitrarily slapped into the game: king, snek, you know 'em. i was getting absolutely livid whenever i walked into a server only to find all the little bacon-hairs spouting the usual "'DUDE KING LMAO" or "DUDE FIST LMAO" in a vain attempt to find all the little buggers. i decided to play a prank by using my then-new status as a devil beater developer--a little test of the gullibility (and stupidity) of the collective devil beater fanbase. i went into roblox studio, hastily assembled the dumbest looking character i could, and took the snapshot known as "wizard.png". i took the photo in the same dimensions and using the same lighting drager used for all of his portraits, plus i gave the character that winchester kissy face just to really drive it in. i sent the photo to drager, and gave him three very specific instructions: #upload the image to his decals #give it an incredibly stupid name #deny all evidence of its existence and just like that, we'd created quaza keido--a fake secret character who couldn't actually be unlocked and a big giant middle finger to the "collectors" of the devil beater community. my original idea is that if quaza were to ever become an actual playable character, his entire personality/moveset would be an amalgamation of all the lies, rumors and stories that the community made up about quaza. it took a while for the little pink bastard to get any exposure, but when he did... all hell broke loose as the entire devil beater community was freaking out about the fella in the stupid cone-shaped hat. i let a very few people in on the truth behind quaza and let the real fun begin afterwards. inechi was the original creator of the fake unlock method where you had to beat the game without dying with 7 people playing as team dimensonia. people were pulling all-nighters to unlock quaza, it was absolutely hilarious how everyone bought into it. "YOU BROKE THE CHAIN!" quickly became an inside joke between inechi and i as we sat back and watched everyone in the community try to climb over eachother to get their hands on the red-shirted sorcerer. but the fun soon came to an end and i found myself back at the problem that ended up creating quaza in the first place: "DUDE QUAZA LMAO". i was sick of him. quaza became a bigger conversation topic than king, snek, fist and ineur combined. i loved quaza to death because he was my own creation who somehow became the biggest meme in devil beater history, but goddamn it was irritating to try and answer every "DUDE HOW DO U GET QUAZZA" that people threw at me. after a few days of going through this, i called the entire hoax off and posted in the devil beater chat a really long plea explaining that quaza was a hoax and therefore people should shut up about him. inechi backed me up (as well as everyone else in on it) until the phrase "quaza keido does not exist" was spawned. quaza keido does not exist ''was meant to encompass the whole history behind his own creation in one short phrase; all the backlash, all the theories spawned from that one little thumbnail... from that point forward, the legacy of quaza keido was forever changed. drager and i loved quaza to the extent where we wanted to do more with him than just keep him a stupid little prank--we wanted to slap him into devil beater to show everyone just what the wizard can do. i consider there to be three different iterations of quaza, as of that point in time: *'drager's quaza', a funny whacky angry wizard who runs a rival crime family with his brother Pezza. *'deaddang's quaza', an edgy, perpetually infuriated strange little man with a staff, semi-auto shotgun and the power to control his own existence. *and '''true/community-made quaza', a quaza created entirely out of the rumors and lies that people had formulated about him before his promotion to devil beater's canon. although this was one of the reasons i created quaza (and the reason i tried to convince people that his F attack made him pull a kurt cobain with his shotgun), i still consider him a partially failed experiment because this never ended up being the case. with all that being said, quaza keido still remains my all-time favorite devil beater character purely because of the insane history behind his creation. he's the greatest meme to have ever come out of devil beater, he's what caused me to create the byproduct of the empire arc known as keido ocean , and he's my reason for perceiving the majority of the devil beater fanbase as insanely gullible (which is especially true with info coming out of the mouths of someone with status--me, drager, etc). in conclusion, you may be thinking to yourself "does quaza keido exist?". in that case, you deserve to be on the receiving end of his 12-gauge. note: i told my friend from alaska about quaza keido and how he could manipulate his own existence. i asked him to write quaza's backstory and origins of his powers. this is what he sent me. if you can understand or interpret any of it then i'll buy you a drink. otherwise, just read it and see how fucking awesome it sounds (whatever it means): "Pre fujiwara instructors worst nightmare under command of first empire tokonomas personal spirit summoning electrician. Broke report tablets. Destroy hells school. Assistant to senior instructor of liturgical practice. Stole writ of seal characters from courts. Most discouragingly applying magical skill of releasing the corpse-use staff to replace body-cathode tube experiment. Hollow 6 segment scrolls rolled in core of integrated circuits with inducer of transformation. '''Allows for unlawful non existence/existence flows.' Accelerated. 12 gauge acquired from unknown realm. Levels of existence 30 constellation wizards hat controls astrological phenomenom. Personalized cosmos frequency. High avoidance authorized. Restricted plane only"'' Category:Blog posts